


Modern Dracula

by TsingaDark



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comedy, Crack, M/M, Mentions of Morgana, mentions of twilight but in an ironic way, this is literally the first story I'm posting on here so I have now idea what tags to put in here, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsingaDark/pseuds/TsingaDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur didn’t believe in supernatural creatures. Nevertheless, he was about eighty-five percent sure that his neighbour was a vampire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Modern Dracula

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Modern Dracula](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/180739) by TsingaDark. 



> Inspired by this prompt: I’m, like, 85% sure my neighbour/roommate is a supernatural creature, even though they technically shouldn’t exist.
> 
> This is actually the first translation I'm posting and I'm very nervous about it. please don't hate me if it's not completely perfect D:

Arthur didn’t believe in supernatural creatures. Nevertheless, he was about eighty-five percent sure that his neighbour was a vampire.

He didn’t just come up with this theory over night – well, maybe he’d had the idea after three glasses of wine and a few episodes of Dracula but still, there was a lot of evidence on his list that supported this theory. That he’d made a list in the first place showed how convinced he was of his theory.

Number one on said list was that he had only got to know the modern Dracula half a year after Arthur had moved in. Actually, he hadn’t really got to know him. They’d only walked past each other. When Arthur had come home late from an evening of watching soccer with his friends, his neighbour had walked past him – dressed completely in black (No. 5 on his list) – while Arthur was unlocking his door. Besides, Arthur was pretty sure that he’d seen a hint of red, but that could also be wishful thinking.

He had not even greeted Arthur and that was number 6 on his list because he could definitely understand it that one thousand year old vampires didn’t feel like introducing themselves to every person they met anymore. Since Arthur wasn’t dumb at all though and could obviously read door plates, he quickly found out that his blood sucking neighbour was called M. Emrys.

It seemed like Emrys hid in his apartment for longer periods of time. Maybe so he wouldn’t attract attention. Arthur on his part thought that that made him pretty damn suspicious.

Another indication for his neighbour being a vampire, and number 2 on his list, was that Arthur had never seen him in the daytime. Even though they had met several times since their first meeting in the hallway, this had always happened when Arthur brought out the trash (he was chronically forgetful about that) or when he came home from an evening spent in the pub. This obviously showed that Emrys was avoiding sunlight.

Number 3 on his proof-that-my-neighbour-is-a-vampire-list was food. Or rather the lack of food. Arthur had never seen Emrys with shopping bags. The only groceries he had ever seen Emrys carry had been a box full of energy drinks and Arthur wasn’t quite sure if those were for consumption or if Emrys planned some kind of odd experiment with them. Either way, the end result couldn’t be good.

On the basis of the massive amount of research he had done, he knew that vampires couldn’t eat or drink anything other than blood and that the consumption of real food made them puke out a flood of blood.

Arthur had thought long and hard about putting the next point on his list. The problem was that he wasn’t quite sure if indication number 4 was related to Emrys being a vampire or not. In the end he had decided to put ‘attractiveness’ onto his list. On the one hand, he was aware of Emrys being his type. He had short black hair, light blue eyes and was tall and thin while still being muscular. On the other hand, Arthur could never be drawn to someone who was killing people for their own survival. His dick seemed to not care about that last part though.

Admittedly, his list was still quite short but very meaningful when Arthur thought about how he was in constant danger every day. Until now Emrys hadn’t harassed him but it was only a question of time until he’d be so hungry that he would find Arthur and suck on him. And not in the way that Arthur would like him to.

When he told Gwaine about this problem, he had only laughed and told Arthur that his vampire neighbour was called Merlin. Gwaine had fixed him with this look that said “I think this idea you’re having is cute but at the same time bat shit crazy and maybe you should think about going to a psychiatrist.” That didn’t faze Arthur. He had been on the receiving end of this look many times.

He was just about to put away the garlic that he’d bought in addition to his usual groceries, when someone knocked on the door. If this was Morgana again, turning up without invitation and wanting to terrorize him all evening, he would slam the door shut in her face.

Arthur, already being very annoyed, trudged over to the door and pulled it open. He already had a few curses on his lips but stopped in his tracks like a deer caught in the headlights of on oncoming truck.

Before him stood Emrys.

Marvin. Mervin. Marlin. Who was he kidding? He knew as well that the man stood before him was named Merlin like he knew all of the points of his proof-that-my-neighbour-is-a-vampire-list by heart.

Caught in Merlin’s stare he completely missed that the vampire was trying to talk to him.

“Hello?”, Merlin asked with a confused look on his face. Arthur thought that it made him look like a small, wet kitten. At least in his head that comparison made sense.

„Hello.“, Arthur said and leaned onto the door. He tried to seem as relaxed as possible. He definitely didn’t want Emr- _Merlin_ to notice how tense he felt.

“Ehm. I’m Merlin.”, his neighbour introduced himself and extended his hand which Arthur only looked at suspiciously without the intention of shaking it. He’d read somewhere that vampires could put someone under their spell by touch. He definitely wanted to avoid that.

“I know.”, Arthur answered and mentally pat himself on the shoulder for staying calm.

“Ehm. Okay.” Merlin looked more confused by the minute. Inconspiciously (at least that had obviously been his intent, but Arthur did not miss anything!) he looked past Arthur into his apartment. Maybe he wanted to see if Arthur was alone so he could finally do with him whatever he wanted. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t the same thing Arthur wanted. Damn it!

Merlin nervously stepped from one foot onto the other. “Can I come in?”, he said at last as he realized that Arthur wasn’t going to say anything else.

Aha! There was sign number seven! Merlin had to be invited in, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to come into the apartment. Good thing that Arthur had interpreted all the other signs correctly and knew how to protect himself from this vampire.

“No.”, he replied and slammed the door shut in Merlin’s face. Satisfied with himself, he got a beer from the fridge and sat down on the sofa to watch a football match. He thought he had solved this situation excellently.

 

*

 

Arthur hadn’t seen Merlin for a week but was still attentive.

After all, it could be that Merlin would try different tactics to pull Arthur to the dark side of the force. No, wait, that was Star Wars. He’d definitely watched too much telly this week.

When someone knocked on his door late at night, Arthur distrustfully looked over to it and was irritated by not having a peep hole. Then he could just ignore Merlin. As it was, he couldn’t be a hundred percent sure that it was, in fact, Merlin who was standing on the other side of the door.

It could just as well be Morgana who was here to avenge herself for him not answering her call this morning.

With a sigh he opened the door and immediately wanted to close it again. He almost wished it had been Morgana as Merlin stared at him with his big blue eyes.

“Hey.”, the modern Dracula said and put his hand on his hips which drew Arthur’s gaze from his beautiful face (of course he was beautiful, he was a vampire!) down Merlin’s body.

His answer got stuck in his throat. Merlin was wearing tight black jeans and a black v-neck shirt which embraced his torso like a second skin so that Arthur could see how muscular Merlin really was.

When Arthur looked up again he saw Merlin grinning knowingly at him.

“Since we haven’t had the chance to get to know each other properly, I would like to invite you to a glass of wine and pizza. What do you say?”, Merlin asked eventually after Arthur had just been standing there speechless like an idiot.

“Ehm.” Damn it! Arthur was on the verge of saying Yes. But he couldn’t. He mustn’t. He didn’t want to die; he was too young to die!

“I have beer as well.”, Merlin added and looked at Arthur expectantly.

“Okay.”, Arthur heard himself say. He grabbed his keys from that horrible blue-pink bowl Morgana had got him for his birthday and pulled the front door shut behind him.

Only after Merlin had closed his door and Arthur found himself in Merlin’s apartment, he realized what he had done. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this situation?!  
He turned back to the door but Merlin was blocking his escape route. Since Arthur didn’t want to seem afraid he turned around again and headed for the kitchen. On his way there he noticed two things.

Firstly, everywhere there were lying old books. Surely that was a sign for Merlin being a vampire. Why else would he own so many antique books which dated back to previous centuries?

Secondly, he hadn’t seen any mirror at all. Which, of course, made sense as Merlin couldn’t see himself in a mirror. And since he didn’t want to arouse suspicion he didn’t own any mirrors.

Arriving in the kitchen, Arthur almost came to an abrupt stop when he saw the table but forced himself to keep walking. The kitchen was quite modern and looked almost identical to Arthur’s and everyone else’s in this house. What stuck out though were the pizza box and the lonely plate with cutlery standing in front of it.

“I didn’t know which pizza you liked.”, Merlin’s voice suddenly sounded close to his ear, and this time Arthur couldn’t help but flinch.

Merlin snickered quietly. So quietly that Arthur almost hadn’t heard it. But he knew what was going on here. Merlin wanted to fill him up before he would suck him dry. Maybe he liked the taste of pizza-blood.

“Sit down.” Merlin pointed at the chair and walked over to the fridge. Since the door opened to the other side, Arthur couldn’t see the content but when Merlin closed it he had a wine glass with a bright red liquid inside in his hand. And it was definitely not wine. A hundred percent. Arthur knew what wine looked like. And it definitely didn’t look like that.

He forcefully swallowed. Slowly but surely he was feeling sick, he was so afraid. And when he concentrated very much he noticed that he was also a little bit aroused. But only a tiny little bit.

“No, thanks”, Arthur replied. He briefly thought about trying to run away now that Merlin wasn’t blocking his escape route anymore. But then Merlin had already put down his glass and was walking towards him.

“As soon as I saw you I knew it would be you who would realize who I really am.”, said Merlin. He came to a stop in front of Arthur and slowly stroked along Arthurs arm with his right hand.

Arthur wasn’t sure if the arising goose bumps came from being aroused or from being so afraid that he would shit his pants any minute. It was probably a mix of both.

He was sure though that his look reflected a mix of confusion and fear which didn’t seem to faze Merlin the least bit.

Quite the contrary, he came even closer to Arthur so that he could feel Merlin’s warm breath on his face.

“Are you afraid?”, he breathed into Arthur’s ear.

Wait a minute. Wasn’t that question from Twilight? Arthur was pretty sure that Edward had asked Bella that exact same thing. Which made him Bella. He wasn’t sure if he was okay with taking over the role of the girl in this. Either way he chose the same word that Bella had used as well.

“No.”, he lied.

“Then ask me the most basic question.“ Arthur felt how Merlin rubbed his nose on Arthur’s throat while gripping his hips hard. “What do we eat?”

That was _definitely_ from Twilight. Even when Arthur had seen the movie he had laughed about how ridiculous that scene had been. He couldn’t laugh about it now.

“You won’t hurt me.”, Arthur said the words he remembered. He didn’t quite understand what was going on but apparently Merlin seemed to like Twilight. Was Robert Pattinson his idol? Did he sparkle in the sun as well and didn’t go outside because of that? He wasn’t quite sure that he wanted to find out the answers. Or rather if he would be able to after Merlin was finished with him.

Suddenly Merlin licked Arthur’s throat and without thinking about it, Arthur grabbed at him and buried his hands in Merlin’s shirt.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.”, Merlin whispered. At that same moment Arthur felt a pain at the exact same sport where Merlin had licked his throat just a few seconds ago, and he knew that Merlin had bit him.

Oh God, he was going to die. What would Morgana do when they found his anaemic, dead body? Or would Merlin get rid of his body so that no one would ever find it? No one would ever find out what happened to him!

Arthur was so engrossed in his panic attack that it took some time for him to notice that Merlin was laughing softly. And that the pain at his throat was gone.

Confused he opened his eyes that he’d had squeezed shut and looked down at Merlin who leaned against Arthur’s collarbone with his forehead.

“What?”, he uttered. His whole body was trembling.

After a few more seconds in which Merlin was starting to laugh more and more Merlin detached himself from Arthur and looked at him with amused eyes.

“Oh, Arthur.”

What the hell was going on here? Merlin had just been sucking the life out of him and now he was laughing at him? Why had he stopped?

Arthur touched the spot on his throat where he had felt the pain. He could feel a slight bite mark but when he looked down at his fingers there wasn’t a trace of blood on them like he had expected, only saliva.

Merlin hadn’t bit him.

Merlin was laughing at him.

Arthur suspiciously lifted his head. Merlin still seemed to be amused but also a little bit concerned. After a while in which he realized that Arthur wasn’t going to say anything, he took Arthur’s hand in his. It was pleasantly warm.

„Arthur, I’m not a vampire.“, Merlin said eventually. “Gwaine told me about your conversation after you were so impolite last week.”

No, that wasn’t possible. Maybe Merlin had overheard him and Gwaine and was trying to confuse Arthur before killing him.

But when he realized what Merlin had said, shame rose up in him. He hadn’t wanted to be impolite. In that moment, he had been convinced that Merlin was a vampire. He was still doubting Merlin’s words even though he knew deep down that he was telling the truth.

“It’s alright.”, Merlin said. He must’ve sensed that Arthur was feeling queasy. “I thought it was a good idea to play along to get even.” He grinned, turned around and dropped Arthur’s hand in the process.

“This here,”, he walked over to the fridge and picked up the glass with the crimson liquid. “is grenadine syrup. And the reason why you only see me at night is because I’m a writer and a night owl.”

“Bullshit.”, Arthur mumbled but knew at the same time that Merlin was telling the truth.

“You’ve become so obsessed with this idea that you didn’t even entertain any other possibilities.“, Merlin said and came closer again. “By the way, Gwaine also told me that you like me.”

Damn it, Gwaine! “I don’t like you.”, Arthur mumbled to keep at least a bit of his pride. Merlin didn’t seem fazed at all and fixed him with a look that said that he thought Arthur trying to defend himself was cute but he didn’t buy it at all.

“You think I’m attractive.”

Arthur would kill Gwaine. Or at least he wouldn’t ever tell him anything again. Ever. That man couldn’t keep his gob shut. „Hmpf.“

Apparently Arthur’s defensive attitude seemed to confirm for Merlin that Arthur liked him and he broadly grinned at him. It made him look a little bit like an overeager puppy.

“I hope you can forgive me because I would really like to invite you to that pizza that I specifically ordered.” Merlin pointed at the untouched pizza box that was still lying on the table. “We could sit down on the couch as well and watch a movie, if you like?” For the first time this evening Merlin sounded unsure.

Arthur still hadn’t quite processed what had happened in the last half hour. But what he could understand even less was why Merlin possibly wanted to go on a date with him. With him. The person that had thought he was a vampire and was clearly crazy. Not that Arthur himself thought that he was crazy. In his opinion his theory had had good, supporting arguments which had made it very conclusive. For outsiders he came across as pretty crazy though. (Even though Merlin probably didn’t know about that one time that Arthur had been convinced that Mrs Miller’s poodle had actually been an alien that had tried to take over the world.)

Nonetheless, he couldn’t quite believe it when he was snuggled up to Merlin on the sofa from which Merlin had removed a pile of books beforehand. It seemed like he didn’t only like to write but also loved reading.

When Merlin kissed him goodbye at Arthur’s door which made him blush like nobody’s business, Arthur was glad in any way that he had written his proof-that-my-neighbour-is-a-vampire-list. Otherwise they never would’ve got in this situation and he wouldn’t have got to know how hard Merlin had laughed when he’d found the list, the garlic, several crucifixes and a mirror in the back of Arthur’s closet.

 

The End


End file.
